i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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