every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
