i dedicated my morning wood to you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
