Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
