you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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