I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
