We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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