I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she peed on how many people?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
