Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
