I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
