At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
