I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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