youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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