at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
