We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
