Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
