Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
