i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
