Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
