I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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