my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
