U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
