omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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