Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
