we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
