she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
do nipples grow back?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize