i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize