You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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