69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
