I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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