yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
