he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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