I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
