I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize