Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
