On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
