Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
