If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
