Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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