no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
