Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize