Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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