Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
