im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
