I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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