Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
