Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
