Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
