Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
