One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize