It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
