It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
