So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
