P.S. I can't hear my feet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
