i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
