imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
