After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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