I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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