cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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