she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
