I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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